We don’t scatter seeds across the ground and hope for the best if we want to harvest from a fully flourished garden. A garden needs care. The most prosperous gardens grow with fertilizer, a regular watering schedule,and consistent weeding. Dreams need care too. They need support.
You have the ability to tend to the seeds of your dreams all on your own. If the passion, the love, lives within you, overtime your garden will bloom across acres. There is the no denying however, that with some help your dreams might flourish a little faster and extend a little farther.
When someone shares their dreams with you, don’t immediately meet them with questions of “how?”, and “when?”, and “if?”. Meet them with encouragement. Meet them with a bag full of fertilizer and the belief that they can over come any potential droughts. Some people think posing challenging questions is a form of support. They think that through their interrogations they are offering insight for dreamers to help them face the realities of the work it takes to maintain a garden of wonder. It doesn’t.
The dreamers know. They have run through those questions in their minds a million times before mustering the courage to share those secret visions with you. They’ve thought it through, and now they are coming to you for help. Not for more questioning or judgement. They’ve come to see if they have support. They want to know that on days when they are covered with weeds, are dry from the drought, and are lonely before the harvest that there will be someone to help them.
They know that it will be difficult. They just want to know who they can count on, if anyone, to support them along the way.
And the dreamers don’t want you to do the heavy lifting that will propel them into the sunlight of their final destinations. They want to do the work. They need to experience that journey. And they want you to fully experience yours too. But gardens bloom bigger, and faster, and wider when they are pollinated by bees that have visited other gardens too. Collaboration creates innovation. Support creates abundance. Kindness, empathy, compassion, produce growth.
If you want to support the dreamers, help them tend their garden of dreams. Picking out where all the empty plots are does nothing to help fill them up with more seeds to grow.
Everyday you are here is worth celebration. You have made it this far. So far. It doesn’t matter how far you have left to go, or where you are going. What matters is that you are here. Right now. As you.
You have overcome the moments of life you thought you’d never make it through. You’ve collected memories so joyous you thought your heart would stop right in that moment. You proved doubters wrong. You made friends proud.
You danced. You sang. You felt the warmth of the sun, the cold of the rain. You loved. You broke.
You laughed so hard your stomach hurt. You cried so hard you felt your heart shatter inside your chest.
You changed lives. You might not see it, but you did. Your life was changed too. Many times over.
You are here today, and that is worth celebrating. You are a beautiful part of this planet. You are here today. Be here today.
I started this blog as a way for myself and others to embrace the places we are at in life. Be it where you live, where you are in your career, education, mental state, physical health, this is a platform to examine the potential that comes from embracing the present circumstances under which you currently reside.
It can be difficult to face the facts of your current situation. When you live for the present and you aren’t particularly pleased with the place you are at, sometimes the bigger picture of what’s happening around you starts to blur. I know that I can get so caught up in the moment, thinking about how if only I could leave where I am then I could start fresh and solve all my problems. If I lived somewhere else then maybe I would like my house better, so I would keep it cleaner. If I lived somewhere warmer maybe I would be happier and accomplish more during days that I spend wrapped in blankets. If I was done with school I could be working at a job I enjoy, earning tons of money, and living my best life. But none of these day dreams are likely to be true. If in some parallel universe I was a wealthy entrepreneur that lived on an island, I don’t know if I’d be happy.
We can’t know how we will feel in a world of what ifs. All we can do is embrace where we are now. Ignoring your problems, pushing them off, or dreaming about starting over without any action won’t take you to where you want to be, and it won’t make your current situation better. Work to remove what makes you unhappy by focusing your energy on what does make you happy. If you fill your time with more things that bring you genuine joy, you will have less time to overthink the darkness. Fill your life as it is right now with more of what you see in your day dreams, and eventually they will look the same. Instead of getting lost in your day dreams, use them as your compass to lead the way to where you want to be.
We all feel down sometimes. And sometimes we feel really really down. And sometimes that feeling doesn’t go away for awhile. Sometimes we’re feeling okay, but we just need a little pick-me-up. This week, we have a list of a few ways to give yourself a little extra T.L.C. when you’re feeling like it’s all a little too much.
1. Rest: If you’re already feeling overwhelmed and overworked, rest. This can be napping, relaxing, reading, sleeping in, whatever it means to you to get more rest. Unwind your mind, and listen to your body when it’s telling you that you’ve taken on too much.
2. Dress for Success: This phrase is limitless. It means to dress for your success. What is going to make you feel most comfortable to get through the day? Maybe a power suit will boost your confidence and motivate you to get your work done. Maybe an over-sized tee and some cozy socks are what you need to feel free, and not think about your wardrobe, focusing more on what’s going on in your life. Put on your favorite top that inspires you to get creative. Clothing is a powerful form of self expression. Use it to your advantage when you’re feeling down.
3. Exfoliate your skin: If your skin is dry because it’s cold, or you haven’t been drinking enough, find a body scrub in a scent that you like and scrub away that stress. You will feel refreshed and will be able to appreciate the kindness you showed your skin. Taking care of your needs by removing dead skin is a great way to show yourself a little extra attention. Just be sure to moisturize afterwards!
4. Do Some Planning: This one isn’t as fun as the others, but it’s equally, if not more important. Carve out some time to plan out your upcoming week. See what needs to get done. Budget your time in advance, and see if there are things you can do now that will alleviate some stress for you later down the road. Self care is more than just reading and face masks. It’s about being intentional with your time. It’s about taking care of yourself in all areas of your life. It’s about finding your personal sense of balance.
5. Complete a Few Chores: On the topic of tough self care, do a few chores when you have the time. Your later self will thank you for taking the initiative to clean up a little now, and you’ll feel more at ease once you see your space put back in order.
6. Have a Snack: Grab your favorite snack and make it a treat day. It can be something you like because it makes you feel good or something you like because it’s so yummy. We can’t focus when we are hungry, so make it a moment and savor one of your favorites.
7. Hydrate: Make sure you take in enough fluids. This is not coffee, or soda, or even tea. We are talking water. (Those other drinks, while awesome would fall under the snack category). We need water to stay hydrated, alert, and feeling our best. Make sure you get enough water for your body everyday.
8. Stretch: Stretching is so important to get the blood flowing. Put on some of your favorite songs and take 15 minutes to loosen up. You will help relax your muscles and release any built up tension. You’re taking time for you and your mind to focus on you and you alone. Focus on the stretches while you perform them and how they make you feel. Notice the stress leave your body with every pull and release. A few minutes everyday makes all the difference.
9. Get Outside: Even if it’s freezing outside and you only go as far as the front porch, take in some fresh air. Fill your lungs with something new. Escape the stuffiness of indoor heat. If it’s nice enough, go for walk. Listen to the world around you, take in the sounds, the sights of the world. Let your mind wander. You are apart of this big wonderful place, and you are just as magical as the sights you take in.
10. Get Creative: Take time to do something that gets you feeling creative and excited. Whatever you like to do. This might be photography, or painting, or baking, or writing, or fashion designing. Whatever gets you feeling creative, with the sole purpose of being creative for yourself. It doesn’t matter if anyone else sees what you do or likes it. What matters is that you used your mind and your talents to bring to life something that was in existence before. That is beautiful. Get creative.
There are many forms of self care and things we can do everyday to keep ourselves feeling our best. When life gets busy, or stressful, or sad it’s hard to focus on your own needs. Sometimes you need to make a point to take care of yourself and put in the work to ensure you get what you need. Make a list if you need to of things that make you feel good. Keep it with you so you can refer to it when you’re feeling stressed. No matter where you’re at in life, we all need to make an effort to lift each other up and lift ourselves up. We’re all just trying to do the best we can, but it gets a little easier when you make a point to take care of yourself. Make sure you’re feeling safe, comfortable, and rested. Then go show the world how incredible you are.
View the world through a lens of love. Sounds hopelessly optimistic. To clarify, I’m not talking about the romantic implication we often place with the word. When I say view the world through a lens of love, I mean something much grander than that one statement can contain. Open your heart to compassion. See the highs of life for the wonder they are and the lows as lessons in progress. See people as complex creatures of creativity, capable of constructing starlight into spectacular accounts of science and history, all while admiring the purity of the night sky. People are complicated. We are complicated. Your life is complicated. Full of anguish and elation, emotions that present themselves so strongly in the soul, life requires us to feel one in order to feel the other. Sorrow comes after loss, because we were able to love to deeply. Anger comes because the broken bliss that came from peace was so powerful.
Feeling through emotions is vital to maintaining a balanced life. An article published by Psychology Today explains the 3 main reasons why processing emotions, especially ones we don’t like is so important. They elaborate on the contrast between happiness and sadness, and note that when we numb one side of the spectrum, the other side also begins to numb. The second reason is since emotions work as signals to indicate how we feel about a situation, negative emotions serve as indicators that an area of our life needs attention. Taking the time to think about what that area is, and why it’s making you feel a certain way will help you move forward instead of trapping those negative feelings for a long period of time. The final reason they offer, is the energy it takes to run from unwanted emotion drains the mind and body. It consumes you to the point that the balance of your life can become disrupted and you become unable to focus on what is most important. So take the time that you need to figure out the root cause of your stress, your anger, your frustration, your pain. Process it. Feel it. Then you can begin to move forward.
But how do we move forward when we feel so defeated by the world around us? What do you do when life hits you with one thing after the other until you can’t help but stay on the ground because the strength you had to keep standing back up is gone? Rest. Love. Rest.
When we are hurt, really hurt, we need to make a point to take time off. It can feel impossible at first with our busy schedules, and when the rest of the world looks like they’re doing just fine. You might feel like you need to keep pushing through the pain and just keep going. You do not. Take time off. Even if you can only carve out a few hours in your schedule to decompress, take it. Do nothing, sleep, read something that makes you feel good, bake some cookies, watch a movie. Make a point to give yourself rest and make a point to show yourself love. If you do not take the time now, your mind and body will force you to later, as your emotions continue to build, you will reach a point where you can’t deal with suppression anymore.
Then remember love. Remember to show yourself love through the process of healing, and remember to show others love. While a few of the people close to you might understand how you feel during a difficult period of your life, most people won’t understand the layers of your situation. Similarly you won’t understand their’s. People are not one dimensional, and our problems rarely are too. They result from a series of decisions and actions which all leads to where you’re at right now. Remember to love. Remember to love those who try to understand but can’t. Remember to love those who appear unkind, because they are probably also enduring their own personal battles. We just see a glimpse of most people’s lives. A few seconds, a few hours, a few conversations. Meet them with love. Remember they had an entire existence up until the moment your paths intersected, an entire story, layered with love, and loss, and light. Just like you. Meet them with love.
Meet your anger with love. Process your feelings, then show them love. Show them you will work to resolve whatever the trigger of their release. See the world as the magnificent collection of star dust and chaos that it is. Accept what must be accepted. Overcome what you know must be challenged. Believe in yourself, for you have won so many battles already. Believe in everyone else too. Your neighbor is a beautiful creature of hope. Hope that the elements of the universe can meet and bind as a complicated person full of complicated problems, and those same elements make up flowers, and stars, and trees, and you.
View the world through a lens of love. Soften your anger with compassion. Level your head with understanding. Ease your pain through facing it head on. Most of us on this tiny blue planet are just doing the best we can to be the best we can be. You can find peace again, no matter where you’re at, through love.
For the third installment of the “Conscientious Consumerism” series, we will explore how the process of incorporating sustainable practices can and should serve as tools to help you find more peace in a fast-paced, stuff-centric world. It shouldn’t be an overwhelming experience, but rather a journey of self discovery about what you value in life and more importantly, what you don’t. If you haven’t checked out the first and second installments, they are full of tips for sustainable swaps to help you get started.
In the wake of growing climate crisis, it’s more important than ever to be conscious of how we consume products and media. Every decision you make has an impact, and the collective power of more and more people demanding sustainable options is changing the present market. Many mainstream grocery stores now carry more varieties of plant based milks, cheeses, and meat substitutes than ever before. New and old brands alike are developing biodegradable packaging. The rising popularity of thrift stores and upcycling is creating new markets and diversifying our styles and economy. Your choices add to the collective whole and they do have the power to make an impact. You make an impact.
Madeleine Olivia is a YouTuber, activist, and expert when it comes to the process of learning how to lead a life that is more sustainable, but still functional for your unique needs. Her new book, Minimal: How To Simplify Your Life And Live Sustainably, launched on January 9, 2020. The book is a complete beginner’s guide to living a life more mindful of the how your daily choices impact the planet, and how they impact your own wellness. The 8 chapters cover topics from how to declutter your wardrobe, to the eco-impacts of food industry, to becoming a mindful traveler, to sustainable self care. Chock-full of information to help you understand the current state of the planet, and explanations for how your everyday actions really do make a difference, Madeleine answers almost every question you might have about how to start a journey into minimalism- even including worksheets and graphics to guide you along. She also writes her story through the lens of someone who has been through process, keeping the content relatable and understanding. She is consistent in reminding readers that while it is not practical for everyone to commit to everything she writes about, everyone can and should do something. Doing what you can, with what you have, until you are in a position to do better.
Minimal is a wonderful guide to understand how the process of becoming a conscientious consumer can help you bring more peace into your own life while having a more positive impact on the planet. Today, we will delve into how including mindful practices can help you to feel more connected with yourself in a world that is pushing us to move faster and faster to the next new thing.
5 ways living more mindfully of the planet also serves your best interest:
The planet is in dire need of attention. While massive systemic change will be necessary for long lasting improvements, the choices we as consumers make everyday influence the decisions those who have the power to make those decisions. No act of sustainability is too small. Every item that is reused, every single use plastic avoided, every meatless Monday makes a difference.
Not everyone can walk to work. Living in a more rural area, it would be impossible for me to walk anywhere that wasn’t for the sole purpose of going for a walk. There are people who do live in places where walking or public transit is a viable option, and they can include that as part of their sustainability practices. Some people cannot go entirely plant based due to other dietary restrictions, cultural reasons, or limited access to food. Many people can limit their meat consumption to once per day, or to a few times per week. It’s all about finding the right balance for you and your life. It’s about rejecting a society that tells you your worth is based on the stuff in your home. Your worth is not defined by how you look, what you wear, or where you are. You are defined by the love that is in your heart. By the actions you take everyday. By the words you speak and the wonder you create. You are enough, just as you are.
No matter where you’re at on your sustainability journey- whether just starting today, or a 50 year enthusiast- trying your best to be your best is what matters most. Your actions matter. You matter. Every choice impacts this planet, and your power to make a difference is beyond measure.
Be sure to check out our previous articles on Conscientious Consumerism for sustainability tips and tricks.
For plant-based recipes and sustainable-living hacks head over to Madeleine Olivia’s YouTube Channel, and pick up her book Minimal: How To Simplify Your Life And Live Sustainably, for a full guide on the life and planet changing power of minimalism.
Life gets tough. “To-do” lists get long, tragedies happen, life changes, you change. Our ability to deal with change changes. That’s okay. We often see the quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” floating through Instagram and Pinterest boards. When we consider those words, we tend to think about them in the context of comparing ourselves to others. It serves as an important reminder to ground our mindset regarding where we feel we are in our lives compared to where others are in theirs. Personal success has an intimate definition that is unique to everyone, and focusing on what brings you love, and light, and joy will help you to manifest your dreams in a much more positive way than through spite or harnessing disappointment, because you don’t resemble someone else. The flip side to that quote, which is equally important to keep in mind, is to not compare your present abilities to those of your past or future self.
What do we mean by resisting the urge to compare your present abilities to your past and future self? You can only do the best to your abilities in this present moment with the resources, knowledge, and time you have to work with. Those key factors play a large role in the outcome of a situation. When reflecting on your past self, you might feel that you were able to accomplish more at a different part of your life. Maybe you were faster at reading, or juggled more activities, or read more books, or woke up earlier, or cooked from scratch everyday, or went out with your friends more, or were more involved in your community than you are now. If any of these, or whatever it is that you feel you did better in the past than you do now, is weighing down on you, let it go. Your life circumstances have also probably changed immensely since then. Have you had financial troubles? Personal traumas? Health issues? Changes in daily routines? Moved? Expanded your family? You are at a different place in your life, and because things are different now, does not make you less of a person, and does not make the work that you do accomplish any less worthy of celebration.
When you think of your future self in relation to your present self, approach it with a similar mindset. It can become overwhelming and discouraging to constantly stay in a mindset of escaping your present life for the dream of a new one. Thoughts like, “Once I get this promotion it will all be better,” “Once I finish this project I can finally be happy,” “Once I finish school everything will be okay,” “Once I move to this place I will finally be happy,” are all examples of extreme cases of comparing your present self to your future self. These types of thoughts place a heavy emphasis on your happiness relying on the outcome of a future external event. When your personal peace does not originate from an internal source, it becomes unstable. If things don’t work out or get prolonged, then the emotional consequences can be devastating. Overarching peace stems from within you, and from your ability to appreciate the wonderful love you have to share everyday. Thoughts that place your happiness largely on the outcome of how future events turn out, also limit your ability to appreciate what is good in your life right now.
This does not mean you shouldn’t plan for the future. Plan. Create goals. Dream big. Dream so big that the entire world can’t contain those dreams. You can do anything you set your mind to. However, it is important to not put off working on those dreams, because you are waiting to get to where you want to be to start working on them. Start working on them today. Start with the resources you have. Do not think that your present self is incapable of greatness, and that your future self will be the one who will take you to your dream destination. Begin today. For more details on how to get started on that project that is burning in your heart, even if you don’t feel ready, check out our article “Begin The Climb, Even If You Don’t Have The Gear.”
You have so many beautiful and wondrous thoughts and ideas every single day. Even if you feel that your thoughts don’t matter or won’t get you very far because you won’t be able to make extensive progress on your goals at this present time, that does not mean you shouldn’t start. Do what you can with what you have to work with. Then when you can do better, do. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not in the position you want to be yet. Don’t put off starting something altogether because you don’t have all the tools you need to execute it in the exact way you want yet. If you wait until you are ready, the ideas might slip, the right time might pass, or the window of opportunity might fade.
This brings us to the main point of the week. It is okay to work on somethings at your situational best. If you have a vision in your mind of what you want your life to look like, or how you want a specific project to turn out, it is okay to work on it, even if you can not make it look like the final image you are trying to achieve yet. Starting somewhere is better than not starting at all. Challenging self imposed perfectionism is an extremely difficult battle. What’s important to remember is that you are doing the best you can do given the resources at your disposal, the time frame you have to work with, and the knowledge you have about the situation at hand. Maybe your past self would have done something “better.” However, you can’t know that. Your past self hasn’t seen what you’ve seen or felt what you’ve felt. Your past self might have frozen in the face of some challenges your present self is dealing with. Maybe your future self would be able to handle this more efficiently. However, if your future self hadn’t learned how to be resourceful through making the best of tough situations, they wouldn’t know how to act so efficiently either.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” You can only do what is possible in the now, but make the absolute best of your now. Learn from your mistakes. Forgive yourself for setbacks. Allow yourself time to rest. Enjoy the present. The present is your experience of life. It is your feelings, it is your thoughts, it is your place in the world. It is where you’re at. You are here, and what you are doing is wonderful, because it comes from inside you.
In our spare time it can be nice to unwind and watch a movie, t.v. show, or catch up with what your friends are doing on social media. Down time is essential to decompressing throughout the week. These activities can also enrich our lives through enhancing our social bonds. Watching the same show as your friends can give you all something to discuss together. Social media offers various platforms to connect with people who you might otherwise lose touch with, and to learn and grow in ways that would not be possible with out that technology.
It is also crucial to have other activities that bring joy to your life. Things that are not your work, but that do engage your mind on a higher level than passively consuming media. Hobbies allow you to express yourself, learn about new facets of the world, connect with new people on deep levels, and enhance your skills at something you love. We often see that people who practice a hobby tend to feel better, but why?
Researchers have found that engaging frequently in enjoyable leisure activities leads to overall better psychological and physical health. In their study, psychologists found participants who regularly practiced their hobbies had lower blood pressure, lower cortisol levels, lower BMIs, and overall better physical functions than those who did not, even after accounting for standard demographic differences. Why this happens could be for several reasons. A possible explanation could be found in a study published by BMC Psychiatry, which discovered that the sense of “mastery” over a skill that develops when taking on a hobby improves overall mental health and sense of accomplishment. An additional study published in the American Journal of Public Health explored the healing effects of artistic expression regarding mental health when practiced as a hobby, and found that activities such as creative writing, music, dance, and drawing aided in coping with stress.
The bottom line: exploring a hobby you enjoy can help you to improve your physical and mental well-being. If you already have activities that you like to do, keep up with them, and make sure you set up time in your schedule specifically for yourself to practice what makes you feel good. If you want to explore new hobbies or don’t have anything you like to do yet, below is a list of suggestions to begin your journey into making the most of your free time. Get creative, meet new people, get really into what you like. But, also remember it’s okay if you don’t like something you try and want to try something else. It’s also okay if you like something, but aren’t good at it when you start out (no one is perfect when they first try something). It’s also okay if you like something and don’t love it. Not everything you do has to be your favorite thing. If it brings you joy, do it. If it doesn’t bring you joy, then stop.
10 Unique Hobbies To Explore:
No matter what you choose to do with your free time, be sure to spend it doing what you love, with who you love. Your hobby doesn’t need to consume your life, but if it does drive you to get up in the morning that is also okay too. Make time to take care of yourself. Make time to decompress. Make time to do the things that are important to you. Regardless of where you’re at in life, you are deserving of time that makes you feel good and important.
Hobbies can take you to so many wonderful places you could have never dreamed of going before. Maybe you’ll find yourself on stage performing one day in front of an audience. Maybe you’ll be booking your next vacation to tackle the world’s craziest rock climbing adventure. Maybe you’ll meet the most wonderful people who will become extensions of your family. You never know where you will end up, but when you follow your heart you’ll end up exactly where you’re supposed to be.
*Disclaimer: This article is purely addressing the “self-help” industry, NOT advice/counsel provided by licensed medical professionals, psychiatrists, counselors, etc. If you have concerns about your current course of treatment or what has been discussed in sessions, please have a detailed discussion with your provider. Professionals have been trained, certified, and have the time to manage cases one-on-one. This article discusses the open access to advice given by anyone, through a variety of formats, regardless of credentials. I am NOT a licensed mental health professional. I am just someone trying to make the best of tough situations, and share those thoughts as a way to help others who might be in similar positions not feel so alone.
Think about how many times you’ve ever said, “I need to get my life together.” Do you binge watch self-improvement videos, reread self-help books, or share 300 quotes on Pinterest to get you ready to “get it together”? Do you rearrange your furniture? Do you buy a planner and fill out the next few days full of productive activity? What’s your go to method for getting it all together? Why don’t you feel better after a few days into your self-improvement journey?
Self-improvement, self-care, self-love, self-acceptance, self-help, all trending topics over the last few years, and especially in the first month of the new year. We are taught from a young age, that life is a journey of continual growth. There is something new to learn everyday. Someway to improve your work. It can always be better. Nothing is perfect. Anyone ever have a teacher who never gave 100% because, “There is always room for improvement”? This mindset while beneficial in some cases is also damaging in others.
This is becoming a little existential, so let’s start breaking it down. Too much strive is toxic. No drive at all, and then what? Never work towards anything? Simply seek contentment? This is a strange topic to discuss on a website that’s all about the power of positivity and personal growth. We’ve put forth a lot of questions, so let’s dive into the research.
In the US alone, the “self-improvement” market is worth an estimated $11 billion. This includes products, retreats, events, books, CDs, apps, etc., that try and motivate people mentally, spiritually, physically, or in any way want to influence people to improve in an area of their life. This statistic can be seen as both a positive and negative reflection on where our society is at. Since I prefer to think positively, let’s dissect this figure with our rose-colored glasses on first. Clearly, a lot of Americans are looking to improve in some way or another, and this number illustrates that they are finding answers to whatever questions they might have. This number also shows that there is hope for a society often seen as lost. People looking to improve, wanting to do better, is crucial to actually doing better. It shows that we are not content with the troubled state of where we are, and that we know there is so much more we can give. Sometimes we just need help to figure out how to get to the next level, and that’s okay.
Time to take off those rosy glasses. To quote the iconic modern poet Atticus, “I worry there is something broken in our generation; there are so many sad eyes on happy faces.” Are we a generation eternally trapped under the pressure of never being “enough”? Why are we seeking $11 billion worth of self-improvement? And here’s the not so nice reality of analyzing that enormous number. With that much content out for consumption, how can we guarantee that what is for sale is quality, accurate, and helpful? The truth is, we can’t. However, people are smart, and can determine what sources of media best serve their needs and their unique situations. (With that much content comes plenty of variety.) Trouble arises when people who are experiencing pain, who feel lost, get taken advantage of by companies trying to profit off people who are in a place of hurt, rather than provide genuine help. Research the media you consume. Self-help doesn’t always come from a kind place.
Here are some key questions you can ask to determine if a source is something you should continue to follow as a place of inspiration:
These questions can help you to filter what content will actually serve you, and what content will harm you, or is eating up your time unnecessarily. Follow and consume content that genuinely inspires you to do good, and makes you feel good about yourself. Unfollow and get rid of anything that isn’t genuinely fueling your soul, makes you feel worse about yourself, makes you jealous, anxious, or feel like you aren’t enough. Balance is the key. Don’t write off self-help, because the self-improvement community is full of some incredible and genuine people, striving to create a real impact. This community has broken down barriers to discussing topics like burnout, depression, anxiety, positive self-talk, body positivity, the list goes on and on. So much good comes out of exploring your own potential. As with anything in life, just be mindful of the time you spend on it, and where you get your information from.
Why is too much self-help toxic? If anything, the constant mindset of growth and development should keep us in a place of balance and positive thinking. When we constantly strive for something more, we forget to enjoy what we have. In times of darkness, there are still small things to be grateful for. In times of prosperity, even more to be grateful for. Sometimes, we still don’t find it to be enough and keep looking for the next best thing. That’s when the cycle begins to get dangerous. When we find ourselves, never content with what we have, and always focusing our energy on what’s coming next. Take time to enjoy what you have worked for. You set goals, you achieved them. Take in that moment, and just feel that for a while before going on to the next project. The mindset that you always need to be creating, and working, and moving to the next phase takes away from fully embracing where you are at right now. Balance. Working towards your goals while living for the present.
In his article, “The Disease of More,” Mark Manson (best-selling author of The Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life), discusses the notion that in the early stages of life, our own personal growth is somewhat linear. As we learn how to take care of ourselves, learn to read, master skills, obtain a job, the trajectory of our growth feels as if we are on an upward path. Then at a certain point, life is no longer about growth, but “trade-offs.” Essentially, once you become a fully functional human, and establish yourself in a field, you don’t grow anymore, you simply trade time. If you learn something new then you give up time that could have been spent advancing in an area you already excel at, or vice versa.
This theory, while interesting, failed to get to give up on the self- help industry altogether. The main point of contention I have with the argument is that growth begins as linear. Life is full of ups, downs, and twists, and everyone’s path is always different. Life never has been linear. Life can be seen as a series of trade-offs, as perpetual growth, as a circle, a spiral, whatever metaphor you choose, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter how we define the path of our actions. What matters is the actions or the inaction we take. What matters is if what you do everyday makes you feel good. If you are being true to your authentic self. If you are kind to others. If you are doing the best you can with what you have to work with.
There is nothing wrong with wanting more from your life. Wanting to become the vision of what you know in your heart you can become. You should want to achieve those goals, create those goals, chase those goals. There is also nothing wrong in seeking guidance from others when you need it. Surround yourself with positive light. Take in the ideas of people who share their thoughts and experiences. Digest them. If there are resources or programs that help you to feel good about yourself, and help to inspire you to become the best version of yourself take full advantage of them. Keep working towards your dreams, but don’t forget that where you’re at is also just as beautiful as where you are going.
Inspiration is all around us. It’s hidden in moments of the everyday. The golden color that glows around the flowers at sunset, the smell of rain in the city, the early morning conversations about the day to come, the view of the valley sliced in half with a set of never ending train tracks, all hidden inspiration. What inspires you is a personal and intimate experience. Sometimes elaborate works of art, complex problems of war, or stories of triumph inspire us to create. Other times, the tiniest details ignite the soul and set the mind ablaze.
While the world flourishes with lovely moments everyday, when our own lives become clouded, or we experience difficult times of pain, disinterest, or frustration, it can become near impossible to see that the tools we need to escape these ruts are scattered all around us. Whether you are looking for creative inspiration, the motivation to get work done, or to just feel inspired to embrace the warmth of life again, there are ways to seek out what you need to feel re-energized and excited about what’s to come again.
This week we examine a list of methods to find inspiration when you feel lost:
Some days a simple “motivational quote” is enough to get us going. Some days, a few words someone said when they were having a good day isn’t enough to get us through. And that’s okay. You, and your problems, and your life, and your passions are so much more complex than a few sentences or a list of feel-good ideas. What’s important to remember when you are feeling uninspired by the world, is that emotions (good and bad) are temporary. You will get through this period of uncertainty, this deeply dug rut. Inspiration is all around us. You are an inspiration. The work you do is important. The words you speak matter. The life you are living has beauty. Even on days you feel empty, you are so full of life. The periods of darkness will end. You will find your spirit again. You can do anything, right where you’re at.